I kick in with a strong dose of grumpy ‘mature’ woman irreverence today. The uninitiated may diagnose my lack of sunny disposition by noting that I blog while still wearing the sodden muddy lycra that is the badge of madness earned from subjecting myself to an outdoor fitness session in a biblical thunder storm on Bristol Downs; the uninitiated would be wrong. I am grumpy because – according to the press – we are facing the threat of the a ‘Park Fitness Crackdown’.

I would like to retain the choice to roll around in the mud with my fellow boot campers rather than seeing our instructor priced out of the market by having to pay – at very short notice – for a licence with a restriction on participant numbers. Once the Council has managed to ‘crack down’ on malignant users of the Downs, then perhaps an organised debate can be held with those instructors who use it respectfully and support people like me to ‘keep it all together’.

Today I am incensed enough to delay my shower – postpone breakfast even – to get out of my pulpit and find time to research who actually ‘runs’ the Bristol Downs and to look up Bristol Council’s Health & Wellbeing Strategy. I see there is a joint responsibility for the Downs with a charter between the Council and Bristol Merchant Venturers. I am relieved to read on the Council website that : ‘Our vision is for citizens to thrive in a city that supports their mental and physical health and wellbeing’. We are in agreement on this at least, but perhaps not on taxing at a level that could price this type of fitness out of the market. Porridge is back on the cards. I will warm up with a shower before continuing.

Back with you.

Thinking about it, Bristol City Council should be paying our instructor for the support his clients give the local community off the back of the sessions he runs – 12 months of the year, rain and shine – to ensure that we keep mind and body together.

With 14 years of membership behind me (other members have more), I count myself as a veteran boot camper. Admittedly after all this time I should be able to perform a perfect press up, but you cannot fault my consistency and I swear my bingo wings are slightly more contained. An outdoor gym seems to suit so many of us. In my case this may be because I like exercising in the dark when no-one can see that I have no make up on and that my kit has not seen the inside of a washing machine since the previous session, but I also think that the fresh air and variety we get from traversing the Downs is part of the appeal.

I digress, back to the reasons why Bristol Council should be purchasing a licence from our instructor:

• We pick up the rubbish that other Downs users often leave, thereby clearing a space to exercise. A park bench is a wonderful thing when it is cleared of discarded NOZ canisters, beer bottles and dead vapes. Perhaps we members should have a whip around to finance more bins…the Council seem to like them to overflow.
• The 6 am classes keep a paternal eye on those University students completing the walk of shame back to Halls. We give them a cheery reminder to return their stolen traffic cones and to get ‘home’ safe. Some students have even joined us for a few jumping jacks before admitting that us ‘oldies’ would beat them in a thumb wrestle.
• We round up abandoned scooters.
• We collect all the black plastic fence clips that are cut apart when other users of the Downs leave – Fun Fairs, Food Festivals, music events. This plastic is a hazard for the wildlife that also uses the Downs – as those members who are also Friends of the Downs will attest.
• Our instructor fills in/identifies any trip hazards left by portable BBQ pits, HGVs using the Downs to set up the above events.
• We call the police when members of the public need help.
• We hold on to stray dogs when they run off with our instructor’s marker cones, and try and reunite these mutts with their owners. Our instructor has drawn the line on offering dog agility sessions.
• Classes provide well lit outdoor sessions – a bonus to those of us who would not feel safe to be outside in the dark exercising on our own.
• Members have individually and collectively raised thousands of pounds for local charities over the years – we are unlikely to have trained for these ultra’s, triathlons, hikes and marathons without the tough love, expertise and variety that our instructor offers.
• I also believe that many of us have drawn lightly on NHS services because of the group therapy offered through bootcamp membership – chemo recovery, knee and hip rehab, socials – book club even.

I could go on, but realise that there is such a breadth of connection, professionalism and support of our instructor in our particular boot camp that mine will not be a lone grump. We are trained by our instructor to act as a team and I feel he will be proud – if not shocked – that we have actually been listening to this mantra over the years. I am sure other fitness instructors will find their own members equally supportive. Please do sign the petition below which has been organised by a fellow muddy lycra outdoor fitness enthusiast. We would love your support even if you prefer an indoor gym vibe or no exercise at all. No judgement here. We just want to crack down on this principle.

https://chng.it/5ML2sw99HS

We share a strong desire to see Bristol Council support those professionals who enable Bristol Downs to be the best, the most inclusive and the most accessible back yard residents and visitors could wish for. Preach.

I hope to have a crack down on my grumpiness. Time will tell.