After a quiet start, this week became manic. I think that Boris may have known what he was talking about last Saturday – although I chose to hear his message as, ‘have a mini break you gorgeous lady, you deserve it’ (I ignored that deck of misleading and anabolic PowerPoint slides appearing by his side). I had been preparing to dust down my slouch pyjamas again, but Teflon-coated spanx and a ‘can do’ attitude appear to be order of the day instead.

The week still feels all manic and the weekend seems to have disguised itself so well that it feels as if Monday is nearly over. Because of this, you will be relieved to see that this blog is short and consists just of a list of observations to return to when my pyjamas resurface.

My Phase II lockdown musings are:

• It is not reassuring to say ‘there are only 4 weeks to go,’ to people who are already struggling with their own company/missing being with their loved ones/wanted to go to a big firework display on Thursday/have been contacted by NHS Test and Trace.
• This lockdown has locked some people in and some people out. This makes the rules even more challenging to follow.
• Lots of people seem to be arguing about the rules – this is because we feel anxious rather than rebellious.
• We are all just doing the best we can.
• It is of no comfort to people working from home to hear us key workers lament about how busy we are.
• It is of no comfort to key workers to hear homeworkers say how bored they are.
• No-one is cooking sourdough loaves this time round. (See, I was ahead of the curve). Can someone tell me what I should be cooking this time round? In the meantime I will remain transfixed with feel-good ‘The Great British Bake Off’ and Pru’s rainbow coloured jewellery.
• Lockdown motorway traffic volume is identical to last week’s traffic. I miss an empty motorway.
• Washing my car is one of the few pleasures I have left. Thanks for being there for me Dora.
• Birthdays are hard to celebrate in lockdown, particularly if you pulled out all your big guns in Phase I (I am just warning Favourite Man – if he is reading this – that Covid is the only gift that keeps on giving this year).
• ‘Get ready for Christmas’ magazine/newspaper features have been replaced by editorials entitled ‘See yourself through Lockdown’ and ‘Lose that Phase 1, Blubber, Fatty’. Humbug.
• One bubble doesn’t make a lockdown; other people need to be in your bubble – and you need to be in their’s. Create virtual bubbles wherever you can and try not to leave people out.
• It is ok to ask for help. Grab hold of all the support you can.

So that is all I have. If you have any energy left from the week, and if you can pull your head up from the tins of Quality Street you no doubt panic – bought (instead of toilet rolls) when you got wind of a pre-Christmas lockdown, then feel free to share your moments of enlightenment below. I am off to hang up my Spanx for the evening.